Dating. An experience filled with first dates, butterflies, passionate kisses, extreme intrigue when trying to figure out a brand new person, compliments and excitement. For most people, it is also filled with, obsessive phone watching, pre-planning your every move, a million questions about what the other person might be thinking or feeling, figuring out if this said person is worth your time and all and all, an experience that brings out anxiety and is completely exhausting!
Relationships. An experience filled with knowing you have someone to ‘have your back’, spend time with, consistent intimacy, a friendship and that wonderful feeling we all know as love. For some people, this also filled with pressure of where the relationship is going, wondering if the other person is satisfied physically and emotionally, trust issues as to if this person will stay committed to your bond and all and all, an experience that may bring out some level of anxiety as well.
So what’s the point in partaking in relationships or dating altogether you may ask? The truth?
ALL OF IT.
When it comes to dating, how are you to learn what works for you or what you are looking for in someone else, if you don’t even try to put yourself out there? Yes, there will be the occasional rejection factor and there will be anxiety, but perhaps we have to go through all of this to learn more about what we need to work on within ourselves. Perhaps, it is a reason to keep reminding us that our life and what we do with it, is more important then looking for external satisfaction to validate ourselves.
When it comes to relationships perhaps we go through levels of anxiety because it teaches us about what it takes to be a partner. Can we believe in people? Can we love and support someone in a way that is truly beneficial for him or her? Can we learn to make someone a priority as well as focusing on our own goals? Maybe, the anxiety is brought up on because we are also learning about ourselves, and what it takes to be part of a bond that is truly strong and healthy for us.
I think what we fail to realise is that when it comes to dating, all the apprehension you may face only speaks of how brave you are. You are brave to put yourself out there, you are brave to love and you are brave to try. So what, if that person doesn’t answer your text message? So what, if they do a complete 360 and so what, if one day you end up feeling that some of your precious time got wasted?
Dating and relationships unlike most things in your life can’t be planned. There is always going to be some level of risk. However, believe in yourself to know that whatever happens you will get up and try again because victimising yourself for having the courage to love and believe?
Well, those are the people… that probably won’t find it.