Breaking up with someone is surely difficult. If you are lucky then the feelings are mutual but sometimes they aren’t. Either ways if you want out, you are eventually going to not only have to tell them but also have to go through the entire break up process with them. However, there are things that can make us go from douchebag, to genuinely trying to do the right thing. And, even though you may feel that they might only see you as the person that broke their heart, there are always certain rules you can follow to ensure that you demonstrate kindness.
You can’t be friends with them immediately– ‘But we can still be friends, right?’ Well that is a complete lie and you know it. You this to be true because if you see them at a bar your best friend is immediately going to bring it to your notice so you can either plan a quick exit, or be prepared for an awkward encounter. You need to tell the other person that you are going to need your space and that it is probably best for both of you right now, so you can individually move on. This obviously doesn’t mean that you can’t be there for them if they need you. For more information on this read Can You Really Be Friends With Your Ex?
Don’t have break up sex– Okay, this one is plain stupid! There is no way that things won’t get more complicated if you indulge in such behaviour. One person is going to end up wanting more and it will certainly stir up old emotions. However, it will probably lead you both back to having the exact same break up conversation. Unfortunately, sex doesn’t solve core problems. Well, perhaps momentarily, but certainly not permanently.
Be polite– If you do bump into them or their friends and family, please be polite. There is no reason to run away from them just because the relationship is over. This is someone you spent time with and cared about. Someone, who probably was there for you when YOU needed them to be. You should be mature enough to be able to respect them and understand that although ties might have been broken, true emotion was shared.
Social media parade– You do not have to parade your new found single life all over social media. Everyone will probably hear about what happened soon enough, but it is a hurtful thing to do. No one is stopping you from going out and having fun, but you certainly do not have to make it your life’s new theme song. Someone invested in you and although you may not want to be part of that partnership anymore, at least be worthy of being invested in. You may have done the right thing but it may take a long time till you find someone who will be willing to do that for you again, so be grateful.
At the end of the day one of the best things you can do for someone is to be honest with them. Break ups are tough, no matter who really wanted it. Be honest about why you wanted out and respect what you both shared together. How you handle hard times, is what defines you as a person. I was broken, or lost, or did not know how to handle the break up, are all not valid excuses.
Remember; when relationships end they always leave you with memories. No matter how many good times you may have shared together, the way you handle the ending, is the sole factor …
of how you actually get remembered.
For more information on how to deal with a break up, check out How To Get Through A Breakup- Your Go-to Guide