The word addiction is defined as “the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance or activity”. When addicted to any substance the feelings you go through are withdrawal, anxiousness and an incredible need to use that substance to make you feel the most alive. However, aren’t those all feelings one faces when they are in extremely codependent relationships?
Codependent relationships are defined as a “relationship in which the two individuals lean so heavily on one another that both of them are left “off-balance.” So, if addiction and codependency are both correlated then how do you stop using the “drug”?
I guess that is was it figuratively comes down to. Drugs. Letting someone go who is stifling your very existence is the exact same thing as when a person tries to let go of and deal with a substance abuse problem. At the end day, they both are a form of abusing yourself. However, people still stay in codependent relationships for a fleeting moment of periodical happiness and judge people for being hooked on drugs? Ironic isn’t it?
Perhaps the problem is that some of us fantasize happiness. Maybe when we are in a good space in our lives we miss the drama. And, when the drama is back, we miss the happiness. We all want to be on this constant high and we don’t care where it comes from. I mean, who cares if your other half sucks all your energy, ruins your self-esteem and treats you badly, right? As long as once in a blue moon, they make you feel good about yourself. The excitement in those short lived moments gives codependent relationships enough of pleasure, that they can actually hold on to the fantasy of a healthy relationship that they have created in their heads. It doesn’t matter if the person mistreats them for months to come. The impact of that one moment alone is enough.
I think we have to all stop and realize that relationships don’t need to be so dependent on one another. It is not the other person’s job to keep you happy and to cater to you at all times. It is their job to be good to you and to make themselves happy. No one should have to change who they are because their significant other has made a list in their mind of the kind of person they wish to be with. If they want to be with you then they HAVE TO love ALL of you. SIMPLE!
If you are in a codependent relationship you need to either change your bond or get out of it. You need to find your sense of worthiness from within and it is not your job to fix anyone.
Every momentary high is not always good for you. Maybe what our generation needs to realize is that contentment is what true happiness is about. The calmness and stability it brings to your life is something you should be grateful for. Yet time and again, I witness people chase “highs”. It doesn’t seem to matter how old or wise they get and what the long-term effects may be. Which only makes you wonder, is it the high that they are addicted to or the chase?
Remember, true happiness doesn’t come from running…
It comes from standing still.
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