Dating has become this nerve-racking game that very few people wish to even partake in anymore. Do I have something on my teeth? Am I boring him or her? Will we be on the same page about ANYTHING? Is this moving to fast? When is the right time to call or text?
People tend to go through this more, when they barely know the person. Perhaps the key is to take the pressure off and get to know them as a friend first. Take a look at top 5 reasons why perhaps being friends before lovers, is actually more beneficial.
No Pressure– There is no pressure as to when you can and cannot call. There is no immediate pressure on what this connection has to turn into. Getting to know someone in general, takes time. If you are interested in someone, you should definitely give him or her signs that you don’t JUST want to be friends either. Do not fall into the ‘friend zone’ area, as you will be trapped there forever.
Tip: Do not pressurize the other person on where this connection is going. Give the other person space to talk to you openly when THEY WISH to.
Chemistry isn’t everything– Okay, so you meet someone and the chemistry is great, but then what? Can you really hold a conversation with this person? Are they ‘relationship material’? What about them stands out? Do you really want to learn all these things while your dating someone? Wouldn’t it be better to take your time, get to know them as a friend (with the fun hangouts and causal flirting, of course) and then when you have all your answers, take it to the next level?
What’s the rush?
Tip: Do not keep the pace insanely slow either. One or both parties may loose interest.
Trust– Have you heard couples complain about each other and wondered, if they knew this person had these traits, then why did they agree do date them in the first place? Do you want to be that person? I sure don’t. Wouldn’t it be better to build a rapport with someone first? Learn where you stand with them and if you can trust this person to be there for you?
Tip: If you want to avoid over analyzing every text and phone call, taking the time to build a connection, is key.
Quirks– Knowing someone’s quirks makes getting to know someone even more exciting. However, not everyone is going to like your quirks. If you start dating way to quickly, you may realize you don’t like certain things about the other person and then try to change them. This is not fair. It is not fair because you should have taken the time to learn these things about them. At the end of the day, this is who they are. Remember, someone else might actually fall in love with those specific things about him or her.
Tip: Never try to change someone to fit the fantasy you have created in your head. You deserve to find the type of person you want as much as they deserve to find someone who will love them, truly.
Friends and lovers, combined– Do not get confused here. My point here is, when you find a friend in a lover that is the core of a real relationship. If you take things slowly, enjoy the initial attraction and let things grow organically, you will have better results. However, combined doesn’t mean FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. If you mix the two categories in initial stages, that is what you will be left with.
Tip: Stay friends and let both parties decide when to take the next step. Do not mix the two. If you do, be prepared that you will never end up getting what you want from the situation.
At the end of the day, there is no guide to dating anymore. When we take into consideration how technology and various ‘games’ played in the dating world are constantly changing , one almost never knows which hand of theirs to play first. So what do you do, you ask?
Be yourself! Don’t play. Enjoy your life. When the right person comes along they’ll take the time to move at a pace that you are both comfortable with.
Remember, being in a relationship SHOULDN’T be a top priority. However, making sure you don’t waste your precious time with the wrong person?
That definitely SHOULD!