When you think of true love and what you understand from this fundamental concept, a lot of us do not actually compare it to any couple we know. We compare it to movies and to TV shows. Doesn’t that make you think? Don’t you wonder how we have all bought into a theory that we compare to a script and not to what we see around us?
Take a look at 4 ways the media influences our perception of real love and what it should actually look like.
High Passion– In the media, this means ensuring that your relationship remains at its peak physically, every single day. It means, that each person satisfies each other completely all the time. It also means, that each person feels butterflies for each other all the time. WRONG! When you really do fall in love and are part of a strong relationship this is JUST one element in your union. You will have your ‘off-days’ and days where you may want to share something with each other emotionally instead of physically. You will also have days where you just don’t want to talk at all. Real love, is when you can actually sit in a room with someone, and be comfortable in the silence.
Romance– In the movies it is all about the romance. The flowers, the expensive dinners, the house he promised he’d build and valuing your life more than his. Romance is important. However, it is the small things that actually keep it alive. It is also something both parties need to practice. Do you wake up before he leaves for work just to say good-bye? Does he kiss you when he comes home? If you practice small things then the spark remains even after the courting period. It is up to BOTH of you to ensure its existence.
The one that got away– This one is hard. It is hard because the media has found a way to make us by into a theory that is absolutely not pragmatic and happens rarely. We tend to think that the one person our timing was off with, or the one person that got away, will eventually come back for us. Here is what this one looks like. They have issues in their life that they need to sort out and although you are both perfect for each other, you let each other go. Then years later they come back, the stars magically align and you have your happy ending. If someone were so perfect for you, wouldn’t they find a way to be on the same page as you? Yes, there is the rare occasion that this does actually work in some people’s favor. However, it’s probably wiser to let someone go with no expectations of what the future for you two may hold. Allow the chapter to end and look forward to the new. Everything happens for a reason and perhaps the time slot that was allocated to them in your book has reached its expiration. If the stars do magically align, ONLY then should you allow yourself to consider a re-read.
The Perfect Person– Sorry to break it to you folks, but this one is also a myth. It is a myth because there is no perfect person out there. In the media we see perfect versions of people because a scriptwriter has carefully created it. This could be their vision and their hope of what someone ought to be like. However, the reality is that you should stop looking for someone as if they were to be a perfectly finished product. Are you a perfectly finished product? Look for someone whose goals and values align with yours. Most importantly, look for a union where you both can love each other’s positive qualities as well as each other’s negative ones. Love is loving each other’s flaws, as well.
The media creates visions for us. Visions that we hold on to. Visions that formulate our ideals and our theories of what love should be like. Let go of that vision. Love is less about the perfect picture and more about deeds. Perhaps we should be looking at the media in an alternative way.
Instead of waiting around for someone to match our perception, perhaps all the media is actually teaching us, is to take risks, to not be scared and to be honest with ourselves. If you really love someone, instead of waiting around for them, maybe you should be bold enough to take action, to do the grand gesture at the end of the movie and to declare YOUR love. Perhaps, instead of ideals, what we should take from it, is getting our answers and taking charge.
In the words of Orson Welles “If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where YOU stop YOUR story”.
Featured Image Credit: jezebel.com
Previously published on Yahvi News