Breakups. One word that can actually break you down to your very core. Months or years spent with this person, sharing your every emotion, you’re every fear and then POOF! They’re gone. And, just like that, the universe expects you to walk away and find another path as well as find peace within. How do you get through this when you can’t even find the energy to get out of bed? Well, lucky for you, here is where my go-to guide comes in. Take a look at a few ways you can get though this, and quickly.
They say if you take the amount of time spent with someone and divide it by half, that is how much time it takes to get over them. Time heals and it heals quicker then you think. But during that time there are things you have to actively do to help you move on.
- Stir in your shit– Someone wise once said to me ‘sometimes you just have to stir in your own shit for a while’. You have to understand that this situation is hard and won’t get cured over night. You have to understand that your emotions are all over the place and you are at your weakest and that is OKAY! Eventually you will want to get up; eventually you will want to be happy again. After every storm there is a rainbow. And, for that, you have to accept that you won’t be able to see the rainbow till the storm ends. You just have to sip your glass of wine and wait.
- Closure– Closure is freaking man made! The sooner you understand this the quicker you will be able to move on with your life. Send that one text or have that one conversation saying how you truly feel. Do not expect to hear anything you want to hear back in return because you probably won’t. Understand that your ex lover is probably going through their own emotions. Say what you need to, so you do not look back one day and wish you did. Now that they are out of the equation, you need to do this solely for your own peace of mind.
- TV shows– Sometimes when you are unhappy with your life or the world around you, it is okay to indulge in another world. It actually helps. So put on a TV show of your choice and get hooked. Spend time alone and with your self. Eventually you will get out of bed (probably for ice cream or fried food). Post that? You’ll get bored of not associating with the outside world and slowly want to be part of it again. It is absolutely fine to wallow for some time. So allow yourself to.
- Friendtervention– After a period of time, your friends are either going to plan one or you are going to have to ask for one. Spend time with your friends as soon as you are feeling better. Plan a girls/boys night and get out of the house. Just being around the people you love will remind you that you are not alone. There are people in your life that are not planning on leaving your life, any time soon. Laugh, listen to their problems and try and just have a good time. In due time, the pain will end and these very people are going to be there on your next adventure.
- Self help– Everybody needs relationship advice, even yours truly. I have a few appointed friends I turn to. The head strong ones that understand my mind for practical advice and the empathetic ones that understand my heart for emotional advice. But, we all get to a point where we need to turn to ourselves because the answer we seek that will pave the path to recovery, is actually one that we can only find within. It is only then that we decide to get up. What inspires this? Articles and books. I highly recommend reading ‘It Is Called A Breakup Because It Is Broken’ by Greg Behrendt. A long time ago, this book actually changed my Life. The popular author of ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ seamlessly breaks down each break up recovery step, in a way that will allow you to not only have a hearty laugh but also inspire you to WANT to feel better.
Losing someone you love is difficult. Starting life over without them is a thought on its own that can be truly terrifying. But, you can do it! This is the time in which you get to reinvent yourself. Where you get to break free from something the universe did not see right for you so it could pick you up and throw you in the right direction. Although, your probably angry at the universe and wondering why things don’t go your way, follow the path that life seems to want for you. There is a reason your going that way.
So, maybe you won’t obtain everything you ever wanted and maybe your journey was meant to be different to what you hoped for. But, in the end you will surely find one thing that absolutely no one can take away from you…