Have you been in a relationship that initially seemed extremely worthwhile? Then, when you got deeper into it, sirens started to go off in your head that sounded a lot like the word, RUN!
However, let me guess, you stayed! After all, are you really going to listen to the imaginary voices in your head? YES! If your mind and heart is trying to tell you something, please listen. Here are 4 signs of an unhealthy relationship that you should NEVER over look:
U Feel Controlled: If you feel you have no space, have to answer to someone constantly, and all your decisions seem to be decided by your partner, then my dear friend, YOU ARE BEING CONTROLLED. We make excuses like, “but I love him” and “he has my best interest in mind”. However, you are forgetting the part where you are behaving like you don’t have a mind of your OWN! If you see this happening in a relationship, make sure he understands that you will not be controlled in any way. If he doesn’t, WALK AWAY.
You cant seem to grow as an individual: If you feel that all your decisions are centered around you partner, all your likes have to be similar and all your friends are the same, then you are not growing as an individual. Of course, your partner should factor into your decisions, somewhere. I am not saying to not make them a priority. However, keep in mind that they are ONE of your priorities. It is important to have your own interests and your own set of friends. There’s a reason they say ‘sharing a life together’ and NOT ‘leading the same life’.
NEED is not LOVE: Needing someone to the point where you can’t live without them is the biggest RED FLAG you can ever come across. You think this has to do with your partner but this actually has to do with YOU. You shouldn’t need anyone but YOURSELF. If your happiness is only brought upon by the way someone else treats you, then you need to get out of this relationship. You should learn from this, that you probably shouldn’t date for a while. Take sometime and find that happiness within, so that when you do enter a relationship next you desire a partner, not an owner.
Abuse– Any sort of abuse is wrong! I REPEAT, ANY! Be it, emotional, physical or mental. If anyone is trying to bring you down or destroy you and you let him or her, they WILL. Most women think “he was angry, he won’t do it again, he loves me”, WRONG! If a man loves you he would never HURT you. Insecure people get their security from trying convince a diamond that it is merely just a rock. This means, by making you feel unworthy, it is easier to control your mind so you do not see that they are actually not worthy, of you. However, believe you are a diamond and that you deserve way more then to be treated this way.
Most of us do not even realize we are in unhealthy relationships. We do not pay attention to the signs and a lot of us get carried away with just being in one, in general. However, being in a good relationship, is what should matter. It is better to be single and keep you eyes open for someone that deserves you, then to be in a relationship with just, anybody. Quality matters! Your life and whom you spend your precious time with, is important. Why waste it away?
If you are in a bond that is unhealthy, please know that it is never to late to get out, to start over and to most importantly, believe in yourself.
And when in doubt, always remember, that the thing about diamonds…
is that they never break!
Previously Published on Yahvi News