Dating has become hard in metropolitan cities. Most people would think that it should be easier considering the population and the fact that you can meet new people on a weekend basis. However, it truly isn’t. Let’s discuss some of the difficulties that we are all way too familiar with.
Let’s first start by examining the ‘quantity vs. quality theory’. Yes, it is easy to meet new people all the time but how many interesting people are we really meeting? How many people can we hold a conversation with for more than five minutes? It is truly hard to find someone you connect with, let alone find intriguing. Let’s not even get started on the dating apps out there. Some people find these to be useful tools, because having quantity might help them find quality. However, how many TRUE stories have you actually heard about people finding ‘the one’, by going through so many options?
Environment plays a big factor as well. The city life for most people in their late twenties and early thirties, consists of the ‘work hard, play hard’ theory. This means you spend your weekdays committed to your work and possible dinners that are usually tools for networking. When the weekend arrives, that is when most people ‘let their hair down’ and make time for friends and family. However, a lot of making time for your friends consists of going to bars and nightclubs. It is difficult to find someone you connect with in such an environment. The music is loud and unless the person has a charismatic personality that can somehow catch your interest in the middle of all the socializing and alcohol, finding someone with dating potential can seem next to impossible. The worst part here is, most of us wonder that if we don’t meet people in this situation, then where will we? There is no singles club, or a way to meet someone if we partake in other activities. Now days, people tend to socialize and look for dates only through having a nightlife.
Let’s talk about when you do find someone, then what? As I mention in most of my articles, ‘the right person, at the right place and the right time’ theory, is key. However, when timing is the most difficult part, how do you really know if the timing is right? Is it just something you find out in time, post investing your time?
Lastly, there is the ‘self sabotage’ theory. A new theory I am working on but one that I feel most single people will relate to. The problem that we all actually face about dating is, US. What do I mean by this? Most of us seek relationships but are petrified of letting someone in. This happens to us because dating, as a concept, has not really worked for us in the past, now has it? The breakups have left scars, so opening up to someone new and going thought it all over again with the chance that it might not work out, is scary. We take one foot forward and then two steps back. Has dating become a dance we dance with ourselves?
Let me leave you with some positivity today fellow readers. If we want dating to change, then we have to face the difficulties and overcome them.
So, if you have seen quality, don’t settle for less. If you meet someone at a bar, don’t drink too much so you think you have a real connection but the next day realize you wasted your time. If you are not sure about the timing, give it time.
Lastly, if you are lucky enough to meet someone, who makes you laugh, intrigues you and stands out, then don’t bring your insecurities and baggage into something new. Believe, that not everyone is the same, and that new experiences whether good or bad, teach you more about YOU. Don’t be afraid, to live.
When it comes to dating, maybe the only way for it to be less difficult…
is to be open to it.