Men claim that women have all the power when it comes to dating. A man thinks that because our gender is the one that is courted, the one that is chased and the one that holds the pen to tick of checks on check boxes, that we have more choices and thus we hold all the cards. However, is that really true?
Yes, we have more options but our options aren’t always reliable. It is easy to say that we get to pick from a bucket of alternatives but then what? Women, still find themselves waiting around for the man to take initiative on where the relationship is going. Let me elaborate.
Even if we pick from our bucket, we still have to wait till the man is ready to commit. A woman that stands her ground and brings up the unnerving conversation of, “where is this going?” is seen as, “pushy”. A woman that never brings it up, is seen as, “easy”. At the end of the day, I witness strong independent women give all their power away waiting for one man to give her validation through commitment. Is that what dating has become for us? That no matter how much the world evolves, the millennial woman, will always have to wait around?
I think it’s time we broke down the term independent. Webster defines independence as “not subject to the control by others”. Yet, as women we are giving the control away on a daily basis. Ever stopped to wonder how a woman who has it all together (great education, stability, kindness, fantastic job, wonderful friends and family), still seeks validation just by focusing on the one thing she doesn’t have in her life? They seem to have it all figured out and yet find themselves pining away on the one man that won’t commit to them. Is he really worth it? We easily put other people on pedestals that were never earned. Women need to ask themselves; from all the things that they have THAT IS working for them, does his qualifications even come close?
I leave you with this. Whether you are male or female giving your power away, learn to take it back. If you meet someone not committing to you or giving you some sort of vague nonsensical explanation of where they are in their life, let them go. Take a hold of your dating life and stop complaining. Women fear telling a man what they really want because, let’s face it; they are scared of loosing them. When you meet someone who you think has potential ‘beat them to the punch’, by telling them where you stand in your life and what your expectations are, whatever they maybe. If he runs for the hills, let him. I just saved you six months of your precious time.
A wise person once said to me, when it comes to love and life, always remember to know what is not working for you.
Then, be smart enough…
to cut your loses.
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