As young adults we paint portraits in our heads about what our life should look like at a certain age. Once we reach that age and if the picture doesn’t look similar to the one we created, we victimize ourselves and presume that we did something wrong. We do this, because society has chained us to its ideals and we forget to see the bigger picture. Take a look at the top 4 myths about being in a relationship or getting married, by a certain age.
You are getting old: And? Of course you are getting old, that is a fact, not a reason to push yourself into a relationship or marriage. Committing yourself to someone should only be done when you are ready for it. If you are not ready for it at any given age then you shouldn’t attempt being in one. This is a personal thing, not something that can be defined for you.
But all your friends are in a relationship or married: Yes, this is the perfect reason to jump into one. Let’s commit ourselves to someone because everyone else is doing it. Isn’t part of growing up, realizing that you actually have a brain of your own? People treat this factor as though it is like some marathon to see who will get to the finish line first. Some of us aren’t even running. What if there were two paths to the finish line? One, which is a straight path that leads you directly to the line and one, where you detour through a magical forest, learn lessons and eventually reach the same line? Some people’s paths are different. And most of the time, those are the ones that end up being more colorful.
So and so, is “marriage material” or “relationship material” and since you have no real prospects, why don’t you take them more seriously: Really? So now we are getting into relationships because we’re bored or because we have given up? I understand that when thinking about your future we all have our check boxes of the type of person we wish to settle down with. However, if you are not attracted to this person, PLEASE, do not settle. Life is too short. You will meet someone you are attracted to and caters to at least half of your boxes. We settle for a lot of things in life and as the saying goes, love, shouldn’t be one of them.
But you will need a companion, as you get older: What are you, a dog? Why would you tie yourself down if you need a companion? Don’t you have friends, family and a fulfilled life? If you don’t, then perhaps you should be looking into this. Marriage doesn’t keep you safe forever. In fact, sorry to break it to you, but 50 percent of them end in divorce. The only safety net you can create for yourself whether you’re IN or NOT IN a relationship, IS YOURSELF. Work on that. Love will come. And trust me, it’ll probably come when you’ve accomplished this.
Society puts pressure on men and women by trying to confine them to how one should live their life. However, it is yours to live. No one and I mean, no one, can tell you right from wrong but YOU. If you are ready and you meet the right person, hold on to it. If you don’t meet the right person, wait for it.
In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, “Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people, refuse to settle for anything less than…
Featured photo credit: uplifting-love.com