As single women, it can get difficult to figure out what type of man is the right man for us. We go through endless amounts of breakups and confusion, but never stop to think why or how we got there. Most of the reasons actually stem from dating the wrong type of men. Here is a list of the ‘types’ you may need to stay away from!
Mr. Self Absorbed: Mr. Self Absorbed is focused on himself and himself ONLY. Yes, there will be some level of charm involved here because let’s face it, if he is self absorbed he is obviously confident and thinks he has reason to be. However, these attributes will fade and fade quickly. The more time you invest in him, the more you will realise that he has been granted the gift of making you feel that he is really into you, when he is really ONLY into himself. He will never listen attentively, he will make every situation about HIM and eventually you will begin to think that he is not dating you but HIMSELF. So to make your life easier, let him continue dating himself by getting out. Your time is precious. If you are going to add someone to your life, make sure that they value your presence.
Mr. Arrogant: Mr. Arrogant will always make you think that he has a great amount of wisdom to bestow on you and the world. This is actually the most irresistible quality about him. However, when you start dating him this quality turns quickly into him constantly putting you down and making you feel like his opinion is the only opinion that matters. The thing about Mr. Arrogant is, that he is actually not arrogant at all. He has mastered a way of camouflaging his insecurities by trying to make everyone around him think that he is unique. Remember, these are HIS insecurities. You do not need to date a parent figure. Neither do you need someone constantly criticizing you. You are a grown woman and the only opinion that matters, is YOURS.
Mr. Commitment Phobia– This is what this one looks like. He strings you along for months, acts like your boyfriend, you go through phases of being extremely satisfied and then extremely frustrated and yet you get no commitment or real intimacy whatsoever. Some guys are honest about their commitment phobia yet other guys will avoid giving you an answer altogether. Here’s where this one gets tricky. Nowadays we label the guy that doesn’t give you an answer as ‘the player’ and we label the guy that strings you along while being honest, as the ‘good soul’. Imagine if someone murdered someone and we were less harsh on his or her punishment because he was honest about it. What about the part where he still committed the crime? Staying with you while knowing that you want more is STILL leading you on. However, this situation is not all HIS fault but it is yours as well if you stay. When you are dealing with someone like this understand that regardless of whether he is being honest with you or not, what he is telling you is, that you don’t matter enough for him to want to commit. No matter how much he may like you, it is just NOT enough. And why should you settle for anything less than you deserve? Stay away the second you hear ‘I’m just not ready right now’, or any of the hundred different versions of this statement.
Mr. Womanizer– Mr. Womanizer has a classy and intriguing aura about him. However, the true reason as to why you are drawn to him is because you think that perhaps he is done with his empty trend of hooking up with every girl in the city, and will take YOU more seriously. WRONG! If he can get so many women, it’s because the angle he is working on you has been practiced many times before. I keep going back to some of Greg Behrendt’s theories but this one in particular is 100 percent accurate. When dealing with men remember, “you are not the exception, you are the rule”. This means, don’t presume he is going to change for you, presume he won’t. Yes, there MIGHT be a chance that you MIGHT be that one woman who MIGHT change his ways. However, if you have to use MIGHT in a sentence three times, you are surely gambling with a loosing hand. There is definitely a guy out there who you can date who won’t be a project from day one.
Mr. Addiction: Mr. Addiction is so much fun. He is the life of the party, can drink till sunrise and never leaves home without carrying along his other party favors. At first he will court you on the weekdays and on weekends you will see this other side of him and just tell your self ‘ He is not always like this, I’ve seen this wonderful mature side to him as well’. WRONG! Are you even listening to yourself? You are basically telling yourself that it’s okay two date two different guys in one body. Why not just date two different guys then? Eventually you will notice that you are also constantly at these parties, that they tend to happen every weekend and if you keep dating this guy you might even get carried away and start adapting to his environment. Do not let your emotions guide you in the wrong direction. This relationship is quicksand. You either get dragged in or you fall face down on the other side, ALONE. Since you already know that the second option is the one where you survive, why not save yourself the hassle, and walk away.
I am not saying that these types of men I have listed above are bad guys. I am saying that they are a work in progress just like all of us have been at some point in our lives. Eventually when they get ready for a real relationship they probably will change into great men. Everyone has a past and so do we. However if you are a woman looking for something more ‘real’, then this is the list you stay away from. If YOU choose to stay then know that you are taking on a project that will never change unless it truly wants to.
When it comes to dating, is it worth wasting your time on Mr. Right Now, if all it does is create a roadblock from finding Mr. Right?