Have you ever had a great first date? You totally vibe with the person sitting across the table, the night was extremely exciting and you were positive that you had date number two ‘in the bag’. Then, they ghost you; don’t set up the next meeting and your left thinking that the only way this could be possible, is if he or she died. Unfortunately, you then realize that what you felt was probably not felt by the other person and you can’t seem to wrap your mind around how wrong you were. I hate to break it to you, but you probably did one of the big faux pas that you shouldn’t do or say on a first date.
Talking about past relationships: We all want to bond with the person sitting next to us and create a real connection. While you think that talking about your ex is just a chapter in your life that you are sharing, unfortunately, it comes off as baggage to the person you are on a date with. Talking about past relationships will only be read as, ‘I am hung up on my ex’, even if you are not. If you partake in such a conversation then you should understand why an individual may not want to set up a future plan with someone they think might still be stuck in their past.
My phone is my life line– Get off your phone guys! Yes, Instagram is super addictive and it might be crucial to your life to know what everyone on Snap Chat is doing on a Friday night, but it is rude to be on your phone when your with someone. Also, this is a first date! First impressions cannot be changed. When you behave this way, it is common for someone to feel that you find them boring or that you are uninterested. Live in the moment and try to get to know this person. Otherwise, the following week, instead of being on date number two, you’ll be home with a tub of ice cream, a really bad rom- com, and lets not forget, unlimited access and time to go through your social media accounts.
Do you want kids?– Really? Why do we find it necessary to make dates feel like job interviews? If you ask this question on a first date you are surely going to freak them out and send them running for the hills. Treat every date like a fun rendezvous with a friend. Do not treat it like an arranged meeting for marriage (unless it is). People go on dates to have a nice dinner with someone, to enjoy their company and possibly to experience some shared chemistry. They do not go on first dates so they can feel pressured about the future of a relationship that they don’t even know if they want to be in yet.
Don’t drink to much– DDTM! No one is attractive drunk. Yes, they maybe FUN when drunk but everyone is more attractive sober. So unless this person is someone you have been with for a while, DO NOT get drunk on a first date. No one likes a hot mess who can’t handle their liquor. Neither, do they like to babysit an individual all night. I am not asking you to not drink. Drinking can calm your nerves on a first date. So, have a glass of wine or a beer but don’t cross three drinks as a rule. Be collected and in your senses. Because, if you are not, then the next day you will be in your senses and will probably be staring at your phone wondering why your date hasn’t texted you for a second meeting.
Cheque Silence– So, the cheque arrives and then there’s that awkward silence because neither of you knows who is going to pay. Ladies, please reach for your wallet. It is extremely ill mannered to just presume the man will pay. We are in the 21st century and claim to want to be treated as independent women. So, make sure you let him know that you can afford your cosmopolitan and your dinner. If he is a true gentleman and can afford picking up the bill, he will. But, it is comforting for a man to know that you don’t take his chivalry for granted.
Although first dates can be nerve-racking remember to have fun. Sometimes, even when you do everything correctly the other person might not share the same chemistry that you think you shared with them. So, enjoy going out and meeting someone new. Do not put pressure on what will happen next. Just try and have a good time. Trust me, if the connection is real, they will reach out and you will get another date. And if they don’t? Well there are plenty more cosmos to drink, various new restaurants to try out and absolutely no shortage of people in this city who would be lucky enough to be seated right next to someone like you!