They say ‘anything worth having, is worth fighting for’. A statement that although true in some contexts, is also one, that is flawed. Most people live by this statement and construe it into meaning that love and real connections are a battle to winning someone’s heart. However, if it were real, would you even have to fight at all?
For some reason people stay in miserable relationships fantasizing about what it could be like instead of just accepting it for what it is. This fantasy is so intoxicating that the reality of what the relationship really is, is completely ignored in translation. From the media and various people in our lives we listen to advice like ‘love conquers all’, and ‘if it’s real, give it time’. We all buy into this bullshit theory that allows us to linger and wait for someone to figure out if they can truly be with us. Is that what connections have become? A waiting game for someone else to figure out your worth in his or her life?
Someone recently said to me that you can’t define a real connection, that’s how you know it is real. I completely agree. It is just something you sense, something you know, and something that perks your interest enough for you to want to find out more. It is exhilarating, stimulating and unique in its own way. But here’s the catch and what people fail to see. Even though the opposite party has awoken you in such a way and you are convinced that in order to spark such flames it has to be two sided, my dear friend, it may not be. Some people can awaken such emotions for you but in reality their intensity may not be the same. They say the power in a relationship lies with the person that cares less. So does that mean as a generation we are now stating that our relationships are nothing but a power struggle? That the relationships we invest in with our entire heart and mind, will just add up to investing in someone that won’t do the same in return?
So if you can’t define what a real connection is then how do you know what to wait around for, you might be thinking? You shouldn’t have to wait. That is the whole point. If something is real, it is mutual. That thrilling feeling you feel when you meet or when you speak, needs to be mutual and the course it takes post that, has to be mutual. If one person in any type of relationship is doing more, there is a massive crack in the whole bond itself. It shouldn’t for one second feel like something you have to fight for. It should feel organic, it should blossom consistently and it should flow naturally.
If you are in any type of connection where you feel the person will realize in time, you are wrong. If they don’t see it now, they never will. Love yourself more and believe that the person you are, deserves to be with someone that mirrors what you are willing to put into any sort of relationship.
Life is beautiful but it is not easy. Every day every single person you know is facing a personal battle of their own and things they are trying to overcome. So if your connection with someone is real, that is actually the ONE thing you shouldn’t have to fight for. We don’t choose who we fall for, but we do choose who we walk away from. Do yourself a favour and keep opening up your heart to new possibilities. Do not allow yourself to become jaded.
Remember if you can’t define a real connection and it is based on just a feeling, and just an instinct, then also remember that if it is truly real, there will be no Dom or Sub.
Maybe all a real connection really is… is something that makes us feel nothing less than…